there are times when i reflect on my doings and i ask myself, 'am i such a bad person?' are the events of today the consequences of my past? my past actions and doings? am i being treated this way because of the way i've treated others.. an eye for an eye..a tooth for a tooth.. Allah s.w.t. is fair in his dealings.. i must repent. especially during this holy month of Ramadhan.. i haven't started fasting yet cuz it's that time of the month again..
i've been reading tony parson's man and boy..i love that book..filled with emotions.. it left me wondering what i can do to save my relationship if ever we face a problem.. when reading that book, i felt for Harry's character.. his wife could not find it in her to forgive him for his mistakes. after all that they had shared. they even brought a beautiful son to the world together. after all that they had shared, she still left him.. then later took their son with her.. where's the fairness in that? although, as a woman i should be on the wife's side but if i were in her shoes i'd be forgiving.. i forgive easily though i don't forget.. and i guess that's why it hurts so much.. i want so bad to be forgiven for my mistakes cuz i'm ever willing to forgive others.. i'm listening to Rossa's 'Pudar'..ku rasakan pudar dalam hatiku..