Wednesday, March 02, 2005

dead end job

help..i'm stuck in a dead end job to which i'm tied to for a minimum of 2 years.. it's so depressing..i can't even describe it.. my career journey has been like this eversince i graduated.. income wise, i'm getting more than before.. but it's still not a job suitd to my personality and interest.. why is it that when i run away from one suffocating job, i end up with another? maybe this is just a test for me.. but i can't take it!!

sure the people here are all nice and friendly.. but i don't seem to be able to fit in. it's like i'm not one of them.. I think differently, i act differently.. sadly, i don't want to do anything to ruin the image of my 320 something colleagues at other ministries.

don't get me wrong.. it's splendid here, right where i am.. the work burden is not too much.. i get my own private room.. extended break hours are tolerated.. my immediate boss hardly pressures me much. it's just me.. i don't enjoy this kind of environment. i don't enjoy the interaction that i'm supposed to have.. i don't feel competent enough to fill in this position.. i feel like i'm cheating others.. i am not who i want to be..

i don't know how long my existence on earth will be.. i was hoping to fill my days pursing my dreams.. so why am i glued here against my wishes?


Linnz said...

Hey azrina.. I think I know exactly how you feel. I got that kind of feelings too. Stuck for a long, long time. Sometimes I thought of the post as blessing in disguise but most of the time I hate it when I came to the office and not sure of what to do. I miss the work at COLCO..... There I can work non stop & not spend my time thinking how many hours more to go...........

azrina said...

thanks for understanding lynn.. good thing we all have each other to share this with;)