took hariz for his shots yesterday.. had half the day off from work. i'm on leave today as well which is great. hariz came down with a fever last nite so he needs me.. especially mommy's milk.. even during the fasting month, my supply has been plentiful and i feel very blessed.. Alhamdulillah..syukur..
whenever i'm at work and hariz wants more milk than i've left him with, my mom resorts to formula. which makes me feel a certain guilt. happened yesterday morning. i felt real homesick, feeling the need to rush home so ended up not being able to concentrate on the task at hand. i call my mom everyday from work just to check on hariz. but yesterday morning i was missing him even more. so i kept looking at my watch to see whether it's lunch break yet.. my work is neverending.. each time i complete an assignment, a new one gets piled onto my desk.. i didn't mind it before.. but with the festive seasons coming, i'm really in no mood to be productive (workwise).. but that's not fair on the government who's paying me good money.. but then again, who IS in mood to work a week before raya. wish i had applied leave starting this thursday. but last week i didn't feel the need to. and now i do.. so can i change my mind?
also, the management has decided to tighten the rules about our movements in and out during office hours. now we have to sign a form everytime we leave the office except during lunch breaks. since i always leave for lunch breaks earlier than the designated time, guess i'll be filling in that form every single day! it's ridiculous!! feel so trapped like when i was working at the private sector, where they made u fill in time sheets to keep track of every single thing that u do (which includes going for prayers!).
the other thing i dread is the weekly division meeting where my boss makes us all say something.. but what is there to say when my boss has said it all? besides, i hate public speaking.. this hatred first started when i joined mrsm. all the intelligent kids - high IQs but low EQs.. no care for my feelings.. always felt my esteem lowering when around them kids.. but this feeling of unselfworthiness has stuck. it doesn't come to surface all the time.. only around people who reckon they are too good for their own self.. which includes the support stuff at my current division. shoot it.. i shouldn't be condemning people during this holy month. kurang pahala puasa...
alright, have to get dressed fo my appointment with the gynae. papsmear..urggh..
sorry for a grouchy read!!