Thursday, November 30, 2006

working mom

"Oh what a beautiful morning.. oh what a beautiful day.." hehehe.. it always is on days i don't have to go to work;) took leave for the rest of the week. really need a break from work.

however, my immediate boss seems rather unhappy when i handed in my application. he looked discontented. but i did complete all the papers he asked me to. please don't make me feel guilty for wanting to spend more time with my baby...

i try to please everyone but it's impossible. sometimes i feel like running away from it all. to have time for myself, doing what i like to do.. why won't they let me? eversince i left uni, it's been a serie of endless work/job.. it's amazing how when u want to run away from something, it comes chasing after u.. so how come i don't get to work from home? i've been praying hard for a miracle.. for my husband to land a job he loves and that pays big, halal money.. i certainly hope better days are coming my way..

having to wake up and travel to work, and face the day at work just exhausts me.. so much so that at the end of the day, i don't have much energy to play with Hariz. now that makes me crancky. cuz the minute i reach home and put down my handbag, my mom thrusts baby in my arms and hurries off to the kitchen to prepare dinner or if dinner's ready, she settles down to catch her favorite show on telly. and me all tired and weary.. oily and sweaty.. have to force myself to be a mom. and i try.. i really do.. but after maghrib, i just collapse on bed..eyes shut tight, my head whirling...

i don't know how u career women do it.. go about ur business at work, then come home and bustle in the kitchen, keeping a well-kept home and happy children/satisfied husband.. i suppose life goes on... and one day i'm just going to have to get used to this all.. but i feel like throwing in the towel.. not the being a mom part.. only the part about being a career women and all.. it's just not me.. why do i have to please everybody..

my blog.. my place to unblock..

9 comments:

Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...

Sometimes we have to be selfish to keep our sanity intact. We can't please everyone all the time.

But yes, I have helluva lot of respect for career women with families, who cook and clean and whatever else they do. I don't even know if I'll be able to do that someday.

I hope you're alright Kak Na. Jangan stress2 ya. Take care. Hope little Hariz sedang membesar dengan sihat dan kuat! Heheh.

nuhaafnan said...

azrina, i posted a comment a few days ago but blogger was having problems at that time. Here's a tip for tired (and especially breastfeeding) mums. When nursing hariz (i'm sure he can't wait to see u) do it while lying down, relax and if possible, have a short nap. I know sometimes it's impossible bcoz of the zillion things we have to do around the house, but please let everyone understand (mum & hubby) that we need to wind down - yeah for the sake of your sanity. I used to feel frustrated too when I reached home alone and had to handle the baby, the cooking, the housework, etc. A little nap, some do'as & wirid helps a lot.

Sherin de Souza said...

It is difficult to be both a career mum and a mum. But I tabik you for trying your best. InsyaAllah things will get better as Hariz gets older. :) Don't worry much dear.

AzRina said...

thanks naz, anne and sherin:) things are pretty ok for now. sometimes abit of stress can do me good. but i agree that i still do need to chill now and then... hope my boss will allow me to take leave the whole of nxt week. then i'll really have a break to look forward to!

thanks girls! love u girls for caring!!

nuhaafnan said...

wow - a whole week??! i need that too!

hehe you're welcome dear :)

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mutiarazura said...

Hi Ina...just read your writing, touched a cord here. Can totally relate to you, but somehow, as we get older things start to take shape, trust me, it will get better especially when Hariz is older. I had Aisha before I got a fulltime job, it was not any easier either. Grab all the support you can get from family and friends, stay healthy by eating healthy and being active. Think happy thoughts! Once they reach 2-3 years old, you'll forget all the pain :-) Wish you all the love in the world...

Anonymous said...

Thanks k.mutia. hugs n kisses!

-ina